personal

Being diagnosed with depression early on in my life, I remember getting to adulthood, looking back at my life so far, and thinking it was all a blur. I created this piece after getting help. The world started to look beautiful again, so I wanted to create the “calm after the storm” feeling.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, and have been dealing with it for most of my life. Though it has improved significantly over the years, I created this piece while working a very stressful job. I just wanted to find a way to relax. I wanted to depict my ideal safe space and mentally ‘go there’ when I was up late thinking about going to work the next day. I remember thinking how nice it would be to just go into the clouds and recharge.

After ending an excruciating relationship, I created this piece to signify tossing away all the bad feelings that would not serve me. In the past, I would beat myself up and end up worse off and heightening my depression or anxiety. But, through years of working on myself, this piece serves as a reminder of all that work. Self-care is a tool; clearing the mind and being able to feel and process was one of the most critical steps for me in overcoming some of the biggest obstacles I have had with my mental health.

This piece is focused on depression and a bit of anxiety. Heightened by the pandemic, I tend to want to stay there once I’ve been inside for a prolonged period. Leaving my home makes me anxious, or I’ve just felt it hard to leave. One of the most frustrating parts of caring for my mental health has been those days when it feels impossible to go out into the world, even though I know it will make me feel better. This piece depicts the moment of mustering the courage and energy to step outside after being cooped up for a while.

This piece was created with the idea that I would deflect sadness by being upbeat or pretending it wasn’t there.

I wanted to create a piece where the shape and color tone doesn’t match the character’s mood. This is what it felt like in my teenage years, living with depression while trying to come across as palatable as possible.

Here is another piece to go along with what depression felt like when I was younger.

Again - I wanted to use very bright colors and fun shapes, as being diagnosed with depression when I was young, I felt like I was still attempting to come across as fun and playful - as palatable as possible - until I felt like no one was helping me .
I learned how to advocate for myself, but there was a long time I didn’t and was waiting for someone else to do it for me.